


Unsteady

by PhantomsVixen008



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Caring Victor, Depression, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, freezewald
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 06:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11640747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomsVixen008/pseuds/PhantomsVixen008
Summary: Oswald suffers from dark depressions and bouts of drinking. It scares Victor, but he wants to do all he can to keep him safe. To put the pieces back together for his love, no matter how long it takes. This is just fluff, and caring Victor. There is mention of suicidal thoughts, and drinking.





	Unsteady

Something was wrong. Victor sensed it in his gut. The manor was way too quiet, and something was just off in the whole vibe of the place. And it scared Victor immensely. Knowing how dark Oswald's moods had been of late made the sensation of dread so much worse. Coupling that with the fact he couldn't find his partner, he was damn near panicked. 

On his second sweep of the house, he heard a quiet sniffling noise coming from under the large dining room table. Dropping to his knees he found Oswald curled up there, a bottle of wine clutched against his chest. 

"Oswald, what are you doing down there?," he asked softly, crawling under the table to join him. "How much have you had to drink?" He noticed two other empty wine bottles laying not too far away. 

"Not enough," Oswald slurred, not looking up at Victor. 

"You know you worry me when you get like this. Will you please talk to me? Tell me what is going on?" 

Looking up at the older man, Oswald's eyes were blood shot, tear tracks streaking down his pale cheeks. "It's always the same thing, Victor," he sighed. "I don't understand why you are with me. I .. I don't deserve you. Or any of this. I'm a horrible person. I spread death and destruction everywhere I go." 

Victor moved to cup his cheek, only to have Oswald flinch away. "You and I both know none of that is true, little bird. I love you. I'll always love you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." 

Oswald shook his head, taking another drink from the wine bottle. "You're delusional. Just wait. Stick around long enough and you'll see the truth." His words caught in his throat as he began to cry again. "My mother is dead because of me. My father. Fish. Everyone I love dies. And it's my fault. Victor, I don't want you to die," he whimpered. 

"Oswald, I'm not going to die." 

"You can't know that for sure. I'm so tired of everyone I love dying in my arms," he choked out. "I .. I don't want that to happen to you. I .. I can't lose you. I .. I might as well just kill myself before anyone figures out that I love you. It'd just be better for us. For you." 

Victor's heart seized in his chest, he reached forward grabbing Oswald. "That's bullshit, Oswald Cobblepot. You can't ... you can't talk like that. You know I understand that darkness, that pain. But you are so much stronger than those intrusive thoughts. You are the strongest man I've ever met. Please Oswald." 

Clutching at Victor's shirt, he pressed his face into his chest, tears soaking the fabric. "If .. if you love me, don't let go. Please, Victor. I'm scared. I'm scared of these thoughts. I don't want to be like my grandfather. But I don't know .. I don't know how to keep these thoughts at bay." 

Victor closed his eyes, his hands rubbing along Oswald's back. "We'll do it together. You aren't in any of this alone, little bird. You have people who love you, and who want to make sure those demons don't get the best of you," he sighed. "Ivy and I will always be here for you. I promise." 

Oswald trembled in his arms, his breath catching as he continued to sob. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of this. It .. it should have been me that was dead instead of my parents, and Fish. It .. you can't tell me that it wasn't my fault. Each one of those situations were my fault. Especially my mother and father. The poison that killed my father was meant for me." 

"But you didn't hold the poison to his lips. And you weren't the one who stabbed your mother in the back. You are not responsible for what other's did," Victor said gently, pulling back slightly to look Oswald in the eye. 

"If it hadn't been for people out to get me, they'd still be alive. Clearly it is because of me that they are dead." he leaned to press his forehead against Victor's. "I don't want you dying in my arms. That would crush me. And .. and if anything happened to you or Ivy, then I'd have no one. I .. I can't be left on my own." 

"I'm not going to leave you all alone. I swear it on my life, Oswald. I will never leave you." Victor cupped the back of his head, his heart aching as he saw the pain on his lover's face. 

Oswald swallowed hard, his green eyes locked on Victor's vibrant blue one's. "I'm sorry I get like this. I know it must be incredibly draining for you. I .. I don't know why you put up with me." 

"I'm not putting up with you, little bird. I love you and just want to help you be happy. To show you that you are worthy of love and joy. Because you are." With his free hand, he cupped his face, thumb stroking over his cheekbone. 

Oswald shook his head, finding it impossible to believe Victor's words. "You .. you could have any person you wanted. You're handsome and sweet. So smart, and yet you stay with me. I'm a drunk, I'm moody, and I'm an asshole half the time." 

"While you may be those things, you're also beautiful. You have the sweetest eyes, and the most lovely smile. You are so good to me, Oswald. You took me in when no one else would even look at me. You showed me that I was still worth something. I want to do that for you. I want to show you that you are worthy of love. Of happiness." 

He blinked hard, feeling as though he should look away from Victor's eyes. The amount of love in his gaze stole his breath. "It's really hard for me. I .. I know you love me. I can see it," he sighed. "But it is going to take some time for me to accept I'm deserving of it. Because I feel like after all the bad shit I've done, I should be forced to spend the rest of my miserable life alone." 

"You don't have to keep punishing yourself. You are allowed to be happy. And that doesn't have to be with you drunk off your ass. It scares me when you get that drunk. I'm always afraid you're going to pass out and never wake up," he confessed, still holding Oswald's face. "I'd be lost if that happened. Ivy would too. She looks up to you as father figure." 

"I .. I know she does. She's a good kid. She deserves better than me." 

"But she has you, and you are really good for her. Whether you believe it or not. You're good for the both of us," he kissed his forehead softly. 

Oswald was quiet for a moment, letting Victor's words roll over in his brain. "I .. I think I want to go lie down. I'm really tired." 

Victor crawled out from under the table, reaching in to gentle pull Oswald out. He stood, cradling him in his arms. 

"If anyone else manhandled me like this, you know I'd lose my mind right?" 

"I know, little bird. I'm a lucky man. I'm glad you allow me to do these things. I love taking care of you." he pressed his lips to his forehead as he walked up the stairs. 

"You'll stay with me? I .. I don't want to be left alone, Victor. I'm scared of being by myself." 

"I promise I'll stay with you. I'll do my best to keep you from being afraid. Especially of yourself. You'll be okay. I'll keep you safe," he whispered. 

Victor pushed into the bedroom, setting Oz on the bed. He moved to take his shoes off, and then began to undress him. Once Oswald was just in his underwear, he pulled out one of his band shirts. He knew how much Oswald liked to wear them, especially when he was upset. And this one happened to be Victor's favorite. He slipped it onto Oswald, watching as the smaller man smiled softly, inhaling the lingering scent of Victor's cologne. 

"I love the way you smell," he whispered. 

He reached forward to cup Oswald's cheek, kissing him slowly. "And I love you." He moved to strip out of his jeans and t-shirt, crawling under the covers with him. Victor pulled Oswald into his arms, pressing his lips to his temple. "Just relax, little bird. You're safe with me." 

"I .. I think I actually believe you. I know you would do anything for me. I'm .. I'm sorry I'm so unsteady right now. It'll pass." 

Victor pressed his finger to his lips, shushing him. "You have no reason to apologize. We all have moments like this. I just .. I just want you to know that you can always talk to me. You can always tell me your darkest thoughts. I won't judge you. I'll just hold you and try to put the pieces back together for you." 

Tears welled up in Oswald's eyes again, and he swallowed hard. "I don't deserve you. But I swear I'm not going to let you go. I've never had anyone who was so adamant about staying with me when they've seen me like this. Ed .. Ed would just ignore me, and pretend nothing was wrong. But .. but you see me as I really am, and yet you still love me." he shook his head. "You are truly something special, Victor." 

Some of the fear in Victor's gut began to diminish. He pulled him closer, letting Oswald rest his head on his chest. "I will never ignore you. I will live to make you smile." he stroked his hair, sighing. "I swear it, little bird."


End file.
